Christmas Eve dinners are that family headache we end up landed with year after year. At this sort of do you have to deal with all kinds of characters from your family, and if your way of getting through it is smoking a fat one beforehand, better that nobody notices. Follow these 5 steps and have an easy dinner with no dramas.
5 tips so nobody notices you are high on Christmas Eve
Family obligations have to be tackled well prepared if you want to get through the evening in chill mode and with no nasty surprises. At these gatherings you had better arm yourself with patience: the earache can come at you from several fronts. You might have a chatty uncle who ends up telling you war stories from back when he was young, or you might get stuck with your older cousin, a law graduate with one of the highest grade averages in Spain and the white sheep of the family. Whatever your punishment is, here are 5 tips.
1. Eye drops, your best mate
Eye drops are stoner basics, first year stuff. Putting them in every day is not great, but they do a lot of the heavy lifting on special occasions, like job interviews or family things like this one. Always keep yours handy to disguise the Kermit the Frog eyes you end up with.
2. A good shower
Having a shower is like restarting your computer's operating system when it freezes. If you have overdone it and cannot shake the silly giggles for love nor money, get under some hot water and reboot your brain: you will see everything more clearly and the daftness will wear off.
3. Have a wank
There is nothing better for coming down off a heavy smoke than turning to masturbation as a sport. As the stoner proverb goes: no high survives two goes. If you have gone overboard with the joints, give yourself a bit of self care time and come back to reality.
4. Eat something
Sugar is the quick and effective classic for coming down, but anything will do. If you are already due to sit down and put up with the earache from every relative you have and it still has not worn off, reach for the turrón, the almond nougat every Spanish family has on the table at Christmas, and take the edge off the trip with a bit of glucose.
5. Stop smoking half an hour before
Do not be the muppet who gets called to the table while he is still stubbing out the roach. Give yourself at least half an hour before you sit down and wait for the smell to leave your clothes and your skin. If time got away from you and you smoked that joint right before sitting down, make sure you drown yourself in deodorant and sit as far as possible from your most conservative relatives.
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